6 OCD Symptoms in Adults

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a frequently misunderstood condition. People casually associate OCD with anyone who is orderly or organized. But what we’re really talking about here is a diagnosable mental health condition that can severely hamper a person’s daily functioning. As the name implies, this is due to a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. 

OCD is chronic and has no known cure, but it can be managed. Symptoms may come and go throughout a person’s lifetime. With proper treatment, obsessive-compulsive disorder can be less disruptive to your life. But a big first step is understanding and recognizing OCD symptoms as they typically present in adults. 

OCD Obsessions and Compulsions

Obsessions

We all get intrusive thoughts at times. With OCD, such thoughts and images cause extreme anxiety. They feel out of control even if they are demonstrably irrational. We’ll flesh out specifics below, but some common obsessions center on germs, self-harm, sex, perfectionism, symmetry, and reassurance.

Compulsions 

To soothe the anxiety caused by obsessions, someone with OCD engages in ritualistic, repetitive actions they believe will prevent the feared outcomes from occurring. Typically, the relief is short-lived, and the cycle returns. Some of the most common compulsion categories are:

• Counting 

• Arranging

• Cleaning (yourself or objects)

• Checking

• Hoarding 

• Seeking reassurance

• Repeating certain words

All of the above blends into the following six symptoms:

6 OCD Symptoms in Adults

1. Severe Discomfort With Asymmetry 

Symmetry can be defined widely — from lining things up to brushing an equal number of times on each side of the mouth — but in all its guises, it can be present as an OCD compulsion. This is not to say being organized is a red flag. But if it becomes something you need to do, it may warrant closer examination. 

2. Fearing a Particular Disease 

The last three or four years have made this behavior more common. However, its potential connection to OCD lies in how far you consistently go to avoid catching a disease. A compulsion preoccupies people with OCD to the point of palpably altering their daily lives. 

3. Thoughts of Self-Harm and/or Harming Others 

It can be uncomfortable, but anyone can have such thoughts in moments of anger or frustration. They’re rare and almost always easy to control. Someone with OCD, on the other hand, is driven to profound fear by anything like this. 

4. Seeking Reassurance 

Yet again, on its face, this is not problematic. When associated with OCD, seeking reassurance becomes more assertive, ongoing, and desperate. You regularly ask questions like, “Do you love me?” Compulsions like this have the potential to sabotage a relationship, friendship, or job.

5. Double-Checking 

Did you lock the door? Was the stove turned off? Is a friend or family member in danger? OCD double-checking can turn any situation into a pressure cooker. You may leave an important situation to drive home and make certain the front door is locked.

6. OCD Symptoms at Home and Work

This last category highlights how adult OCD can present differently depending on the situation. For example, at home, you may:

• Avoid contact with family members (including intimacy with a spouse) for fear of contamination 

• Hold onto objects that have long outlived their usefulness

• Worry that your family or roommates don’t like you

At work, watch for: 

• A precisely organized desk or workspace

• Long, frequent visits to the bathroom to wash your hands

• Intense anxiety when work plans or deadlines change without warning

It’s Not About Self-Diagnosis

The information offered here is designed to create awareness, not fear. If you find yourself resonating with much of it, it could be a good idea to connect with a professional to schedule a free consultation. 

Learn more about OCD Treatment…

How People Pleasing Can Fuel Depression

In the realm of mental health, it's crucial to understand the intricate ways in which our behaviors and thought patterns can influence our emotional well-being. Among these behaviors, "people pleasing" is a notable factor that can subtly and significantly contribute to the development or exacerbation of depression.

What is People Pleasing?

People pleasing is a behavioral pattern where an individual prioritizes the happiness and approval of others, often at the expense of their own needs and feelings. This habit stems from a variety of sources, including low self-esteem, fear of rejection, or a deep-seated need for external validation.

The Link Between People Pleasing and Depression

Depression, a common but serious mood disorder, affects how you feel, think, and handle daily activities. It's characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, loss of interest and enjoyment, and a range of physical problems.

People pleasing can fuel depression in several ways:

1. Suppression of True Feelings: Constantly catering to others' needs can lead to the suppression of one's own emotions. This suppression can result in a build-up of stress, resentment, and sadness - key ingredients for depressive feelings.

2. Loss of Identity: People pleasers often lose touch with their own identity and desires. This disconnection from self can create a sense of emptiness or lack of purpose, which are common feelings in depression.

3. Chronic Stress and Burnout: Striving to meet everyone's expectations is an exhausting endeavor. This relentless effort can lead to chronic stress and burnout, both of which are linked to the onset of depressive symptoms.

4. Reinforcement of Negative Beliefs: People pleasing can reinforce negative self-beliefs, such as not being good enough unless others are pleased. These beliefs can perpetuate a cycle of negative thinking that is central to depressive disorders.

Breaking the Cycle

The good news is that this cycle can be broken. Therapy can be effective in addressing the underlying causes of people pleasing and developing healthier coping mechanisms. Learning to set boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and learning how to be assertive are crucial steps in this journey.

Remember, seeking to please others is not inherently negative, but it becomes a concern when it consistently overrides personal well-being. Recognizing and addressing people-pleasing behaviors can be a significant step in managing depression and enhancing overall mental health.

For those struggling with these issues, seeking professional help can be a transformative step towards healing and self-empowerment.

Learn more about Depression Treatment…

Is OCD an Anxiety Disorder?

If a mental health issue causes anxiety, does that make it an anxiety disorder? Not necessarily. Take obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Often associated with extreme orderliness, OCD is far more than that. One of its hallmark symptoms is the anxiety caused by the obsessions. 

The anxiety caused by OCD can feel much like anxiety caused by, well, anything. But they are not the same. We’ll discuss some of the differences below, but for now, consider that anxiety arising from OCD obsessions leads people to partake in OCD compulsions. Anxiety outside of OCD causes distress but not compulsions. Let’s explore some other distinctions.

What Are Anxiety Disorders?

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health condition in the world, but they come in several forms. These can include social anxiety and panic disorders, but most frequently, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is the culprit. As the name implies, GAD involves chronic worry about a wide range of concerns. Symptoms typically include a sense of doom or dread, irritability that can transform into angry outbursts, and physical signs like rapid heart rate, excessive sweating, and gastrointestinal issues.

How Does Anxiety Manifest in Someone With OCD?

OCD features intrusive thoughts that are often deeply distressing and concerning. A person might feel certain they forgot to turn off the oven before leaving the house. As you might imagine, this causes severe anxiety. For this reason, OCD was deemed an anxiety disorder until 2013. When research continued to show very different functionality and specific brain chemistry signs, OCD was officially designated as a separate diagnosis.

How Can Someone Know If They Have OCD or an Anxiety Disorder?

As touched on above, the key difference is the perceived need to perform compulsions to counteract anxiety-inducing obsessions. People with anxiety disorders may worry about turning off the oven, but they do not feel driven to negate that fear via compulsive rituals. Therefore, again, the primary difference lies in how the feeling of worry is addressed.

Additional differences include:

• People with anxiety most often worry about events that can actually happen. Someone with OCD  can have very unrealistic obsessions. 

• Unlike OCD, GAD usually manifests with physical symptoms.

Can You Have Both Disorders? 

As many as 9 out of 10 people with OCD also struggle with at least one other mental health condition. Often, that means an anxiety disorder of some kind. This reality is a big reason to consult a professional. To ensure effective treatment, there must be clarity as to exactly what you’re dealing with. Since anxiety is far more common than OCD, if you have both, it’s crucial to make sure that OCD does not get lost in the mix.

Differences in Treatment 

Once a mental health professional has clarified a diagnosis, a treatment plan will be designed. Talk therapy is a proven option for anxiety disorders but is generally not effective for OCD. The gold standard for OCD is exposure and response prevention (ERP). This approach slowly exposes the client to triggers and eases them into a step-by-step protocol to reduce the feeling of needing a compulsion. 

In some instances, ERP can also be effective for GAD, but more often, other modalities such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapies are the go-to choices. Medication can sometimes reduce symptoms for either disorder — even if they are co-morbid.

Ask For Help

As you’ve surely discerned by now, differentiating between disorders can be a trickier process than it first appears. If you’re experiencing symptoms that could be GAD, OCD, or both, it’s not a good idea to try self-diagnosing (or shrugging them off entirely). I urge you to get in touch to learn more about the possibilities. 

Learn more about OCD Treatment…

5 Ways to Manage Depression After Your Wedding

Stand-up punchlines aside, “post-wedding blues” are a thing. This is a real issue that requires your full attention. The build-up to your wedding day can be intense and all-consuming. But now, here you are, living through a real — and huge — transition. Things may feel anticlimactic. You may feel an emptiness now that the emotions swirling around the wedding itself have come and gone. There are so many life adjustments to be made.

All of this can add up to feelings of sadness, fatigue, lack of concentration, and more. Left unchecked, post-wedding blues can escalate into full-blown depression — especially for anyone who has struggled with depression in the past.

What Can Cause Depression After Your Wedding?

A few basic reasons are mentioned above, but here are two potential factors to keep in mind:

Going Back to Everyday Life

There was the planning, then the event, and almost certainly, a honeymoon. Now, things may feel like a grind — going to work, doing laundry, and all that. It can feel like quite a letdown.

Related Expenses

In the midst of it all, money might have felt like it was no object. Then the bills start arriving. This can take you to a mental place where “real life” no longer feels like so much fun.

5 Ways to Manage Depression After Your Wedding

1. Practice Self-Care As a Team

When mood swings have you on edge, a powerful source of resilience is self-care. This typically involves:

• Daily exercise and physical movement

• Consistent sleep patterns

• Healthy eating choices

• Relaxation techniques and stress management

Best of all, these are commitments you can make as a couple. When self-care becomes a source of teamwork, you deepen your bond and resist the pull of post-wedding blues.

2. Talk About the Future 

Remind yourselves that your wedding day was definitely not the pinnacle. You have innumerable episodes of joy and adventure ahead, so why not get busy making plans? Don’t move passively into the future. Pledge together by setting goals and creating new visions. You may always look back at your wedding photos with gratitude, but you can do so from a place of even greater gratitude.

3. Be Present, Too

While you’re having conversations about your shared future, be sure to also talk about the present. How are you feeling and why? How can you support each other? What steps can be taken right now to lighten your load and build positive energy? Some right-this-moment suggestions:

• Try something new together

• Create your own traditions and rituals 

• Do things together, e.g. cooking, cleaning, taking walks, etc.

• Surprise each other with love notes, warm text messages, and other loving gestures

Another great collaboration idea is to volunteer as a couple. Find causes that inspire both of you and give back to your community. Experiences like this can develop new ways to appreciate your connection.

4. Connect With Others

It’s tempting to believe that each partner provides everything the other partner needs. On the contrary, you must stay connected to the people you love — while also being open to making new friends. Perhaps you’re not into late-night climbing anymore, but there’s nothing stopping you from making plans like hiking, yoga classes, or other interests.

Simultaneously, encourage one another to develop independence. It’s an important part of any relationship to cultivate your own social life and interests. This balance goes a long way in staving off or managing post-wedding depression.

5. Ask For Help

Almost every married couple struggles with post-wedding adjustments. You’re not alone, and you do not have to suffer in silence.

If any of the above resonates with you, I urge you to reach out and set up a free and confidential consultation. 

Learn more about Depression Treatment.

5 Ways to Navigate Work Anxiety

Anxiety disorders are quite common — the number one mental health condition, in fact. So, how do we know if what we’re feeling is generalized or specifically related to one’s job? It really comes down to cause and effect. Pay close attention to how you feel when you’re not on the job or talking/thinking about work. Work anxiety is very much limited to the workplace or anything related to it.

Of course, generalized anxiety can impact your work experience, too. The main difference is that work anxiety only acts in relation to your job. Let’s deconstruct what this means and how you can identify what’s going on.

What Causes Workplace Anxiety?

Needless to say, there are countless reasons and variations of these reasons. But some common threads have been identified as resulting in work anxiety, for example:

• Personal triggers

• Deadlines and pressure

• Difficult co-workers

• Workplace conflict 

• Unhealthy communication (gossiping, passive-aggressive styles, silent treatment, etc.)

Left unchecked, any of the above can create a stressful work environment. You might feel like the anxiety has become contagious. 

Signs and Symptoms of Workplace Anxiety

• Frequently talking to friends and family about your job

• Feeling dread, sadness, or anger when you think about going to work

• Your daily life is impacted, e.g., sleep issues, inability to focus, and general burnout

• You regularly fantasize about quitting

5 Ways to Navigate Work Anxiety

1. Acknowledge What You Feel 

If you’re only feeling anxious at work, it might not be immediately clear to you. Also, it’s not easy to admit that you need help. Meanwhile, you are far from alone. Anxiety is common, work anxiety is common, and both should be handled head-on. It may currently seem that solutions do not exist. But once you accept what’s happening, you’ll start to see the new ideas and approaches you need. 

2. Stay Organized at Work

Your job might be stressing you out, but you also may not be able to leave it right now. That means you must do whatever you can to reduce feelings of being overwhelmed at work. Here are a few steps you can take while you work to manage anxiety:

• Develop good time management

• Make a schedule and prioritize your tasks

• The to-do list is your best friend

• Set deadlines and goals that are realistic for you

• De-clutter your work area

• Break projects into smaller tasks

• Delegate whenever it’s possible and appropriate 

3. Communicate With Management 

Is there a way you can improve conditions in your workplace to make them more palatable? There’s only one way to find out. Request a private meeting with a supervisor and start the conversation. Don’t turn it into a rant or a vent session. Prepare in advance to present a clear, non-judgmental overview of your suggestions and needs. If you don’t get satisfaction or such changes may take a while, set strong work-life boundaries in the meantime. 

4. Don’t Try to Control Everything 

Anxiety tricks us into thinking we can control our way out of a panic or crisis. It’s far more helpful to accept what is and isn’t under your control. For example, attempts to micromanage a project or your colleagues can end up making everyone more anxious. Instead, aim to control your emotions rather than your circumstances. 

5. Practice Self-Care When Away From the Workplace

Create balance in your life by creating a strong, anti-anxiety self-care regimen. Focus on areas like sleep routines, healthy eating, daily exercise, and stress management. Look into practices like mindful meditation and breathing exercises. 

Talk to a Professional

Anxiety disorders of any kind are diagnosable mental health conditions. They’re best tackled with the help of an experienced guide. Let’s connect for a free consultation. 

Learn more about Anxiety Treatment.

4 Ways Generational Trauma Affects a Family

When people talk about inheriting characteristics, they’re usually talking about physical attributes. However, trauma is also passed down from generation to generation. Even though a child never experienced those traumatic events, they are impacted by them. Amongst particular ethnic groups, generational trauma can manifest due to a history of poor treatment. It is internalized and then shared over time through genetic and environmental factors.

This can create an insidious cycle that often goes misunderstood. Generations of people develop a particular perspective on the world but do not know why. Unless and until their behavior is identified as an outcome of ongoing trauma, it’s difficult to create change. 

How Generational Trauma is Passed Down

If pain is not processed and resolved, it is available to be passed on. How this happens is varied. For example, living with someone with unresolved trauma may expose you to them reliving that trauma. It sets a baseline. The conversations you have (or don’t have) play it out. Your family’s choices regarding social interactions and internal dynamics also tell the story.

Whatever is normalized in your home has the potential to shape your mental well-being — for better or for worse. These behaviors can change your genetic makeup, and ensuing generations can inherit such changes. This is further explained in #3 below.

4 Ways Generational Trauma Affects a Family

1. Negative Impact on Physical Health 

The suffering experienced by, say, your great-grandparents can make you more susceptible to physical illnesses today. If your ancestors lived under harsh conditions, it could’ve set the stage for a cycle that is not visible enough to have to been identified and stopped. 

2. Negative Impact on Mental Health 

Individuals who endure horrific events are known to be at a higher risk of conditions like anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. If not treated, these disorders can then be more prevalent in ensuing generations. Also, members of such families are influenced by how the people around them view and react to everyday life. 

3. Epigenetic Shifts 

As touched on above, your genes can be influenced by external events. Keep in mind, to the best of our knowledge, it’s not that the genes themselves are changed. Rather, your body reads those genes differently when it is under the influence of generational trauma. That said, if both parents have endured trauma, the epigenetic changes can get coded and ultimately passed down in a more physical sense.

4. Daily Behaviors and Choices

Trauma triggers our survival response. If it is never processed, trauma can keep us stuck in this hyper-vigilant mode. When you see the world as an inherently frightening place, it will change how you and your family behave. For example:

• Not trusting “outsiders”

• Not trusting each other

• Never talking about their feelings

• Living in denial that a problem exists

• Fostering a domestic environment that is more likely to provoke violence, abuse, and neglect 

• Emotional numbness

• Low self-esteem

• Viewing those who ask for help as “weak”

Stopping the Cycle

Connecting with a trauma-informed therapist is a giant step toward breaking the cycle. From there, you can take productive steps to break the patterns before they can be passed down again. This is accomplished in many ways, including:

• Learning healthy coping skills 

• Understanding the cause of your distress 

• Finding productive ways to express, process, and resolve the trauma

The more you know, the better equipped you are to heal and recover. Some family members may resist your efforts, but it is vital that you take the steps you need to take to thrive again. You will eat by example as you move along the healing path of ending the cycle.

Learn more about Trauma Therapy.

What is ERP for OCD?

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is too often misunderstood. Many folks use the abbreviation OCD as shorthand for anyone who is very organized or hygiene-focused. But it’s so much more than that. As the name suggests, OCD involves a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. The obsessions are anxiety-causing thoughts and fears. In response, someone with OCD will perform rituals meant to prevent danger from happening. These are the compulsions — some of which may involve the aforementioned bent toward order or cleanliness.

OCD’s intrusive sequence of events can interfere with daily functioning, thus making this a very serious disorder. Fortunately, exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy has become an effective form of treatment for people with OCD.

What is ERP for OCD?

The “exposure” part of ERP is precisely what you’d imagine it is. In other words, ERP is not about avoiding obsessions but, rather, facing them and changing part two: your “response.” This is a realistic approach because distress and its triggers can never be deleted from anyone’s life. What matters most is how we react to these inevitable trials.

Yes, it can feel challenging at first to provoke intrusive thoughts, but ERP’s long-term effect is worth the initial discomfort. 

How It Works

Of course, every person is different, and every manifestation of OCD is unique. Thus, ERP will be adapted on a case-by-case basis. Be that as it may, we can still explore one form of ERP. 

You’re exposed to a trigger and, therefore, feel a powerful need to perform a compulsion to neutralize it. For the sake of this description, let’s say the compulsion needs to be performed immediately, and it involves 6 or 7 parts. Here are some steps you can take via ERP:

• Delay the first step. Challenge the immediacy by taking time (maybe ten seconds, maybe ten minutes) before taking any action. This may feel scary, but just control yourself before allowing the compulsion to take control. Over time, you will want to lengthen the duration of the delay. This weakens the power of the cycle and transfers some of that power back to you.

• Perform the compulsion, but remove one of the five steps. So yes, you still submitted to the compulsion, but not without removing a little more of its control.

From there, with your therapist’s support, you can incrementally increase the delay time while slowly removing other phases of the compulsion. Over a time frame that feels right for you, ERP will eat away at the OCD cycle until you can experience an intrusive thought but not perform the compulsion.

This is not a guarantee or a “miracle cure.” You may slide at times and go back to restart at an earlier point. What matters is that ERP causes improvement, which, in turn, infuses the entire process with hope. ERP, combined with other therapies or possibly medication, can be a game-changer for someone with OCD.

How ERP is Used

Initially, ERP is done in a clinical setting. Your therapist may use pictures or videos to expose you to a known trigger gently. As things progress and you improve in maintaining control, it may become your responsibility to envision common obsessions (with a visual cue). With the therapist nearby, you will then practice the steps of ERP. Next comes homework, e.g., the client is guided on how to practice ERP coping skills outside the therapy setting.

Thanks to ERP, you can learn more about OCD and more about what it takes to control it. OCD has no known cure but approaches like ERP offer hope when it comes to managing the symptoms and regaining control of your day-to-day life. 

Learn more about OCD Treatment.

How Long Do Bipolar Episodes Last?

When you’re struggling with a condition that causes extreme swings and shifts in mood (and more), it’s logical to ask how long these episodes will last. That’s a common concern for anyone diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Fluctuating between moods of mania and depression is a major challenge to daily functioning. 

While there is no way to accurately predict the frequency or duration of bipolar cycles, as you’ll see below, certain patterns do exist. It is also important to bear in mind that some folks experience mania and depression symptoms at the same time. For the purposes of this post, we’ll focus on episodes that are more clearly delineated. 

What Are Bipolar Episodes?

Manic

You talk more but sleep and eat less. Your thoughts are racing, but, for the most part, they are all about perceived positivity. A manic bipolar episode can leave you feeling invulnerable, and thus, it’s not unusual for the person to engage in risky behaviors — but remember very little about these choices.

Depressive

Conversely, a depressive episode will appear like a rapid downward spiral that ends in a crash. Everything slows down, and the general vibe is that of sadness and hopelessness. Sleeping and eating habits swing back to the extreme while speech slows down and thoughts are the opposite of manic elation. The person is unmotivated to do anything and can eventually slip into a place of self-harm and suicidal ideation. 

How Long Do Bipolar Episodes Last?

We’re back to the question at hand. Here are just a few of the factors that can influence the duration of bipolar episodes:

• Specific diagnosis

• How engaged the person is with their treatment plan (someone diligently following the protocol can have shorter episodes) 

• Use of alcohol or drugs can induce mania 

• An inevitable variance between individuals 

That said, some general trends can be observed:

• Episodes can range from hours in length to, in rare cases, years

• If symptoms become severe, hospitalization is sometimes suggested 

• Depressive episodes tend to last longer than manic episodes across the board

• In some cases, the cycling can be quite rapid  

What is Rapid Cycling?

Anywhere from 10 to 20 percent of people with bipolar disorder will experience rapid cycling. This means the time between episodes is brief enough that they can experience at least four cycles in any 12-month period. Rapid cycling is not automatically an ongoing issue and can be transient. However, it could also transition into “ultra-rapid cycling.” This occurs when an individual cycles through manic and depressive episodes in a very short time period. How short? Typically, it would be one month, but it could take place within a 24-hour window. At that point, we’re talking about a very fine line of difference between ultra-rapid cycling and a mixed episode.

What Does All This Mean For Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

It may sound disheartening not to get a straight answer on the length of episodes. But the sobering news above can be viewed as a positive motivation. It aims a person in a new direction. They can focus primarily on connecting with a compatible therapist and dedicating themselves to following the treatment plan. This has been shown to be incredibly helpful.

In addition, basic self-care is a powerful supplementary tool. Healthy habits can work to counterbalance some of the bipolar symptoms. It’s also important to have a trusted friend, spouse, or other family member to advocate for you in all medical settings. 

Remember that while your symptoms — and thus, the specifics of your episodes — are unique to you, this doesn’t mean you are alone. Connecting with a bipolar disorder support group can be a powerful source of support and solace. 

Lear more about Depression Therapy.

How to Cope with Anxiety and Panic Attacks During Divorce

Divorce is unfortunately a common occurrence. Anxiety and panic attacks during divorce are almost as common. Even when a divorce feels like the best move and brings some form of relief, it is still a major life shift. A transition this big will inevitably cause high-stress levels—especially if children are involved. Studies find that at least 40 percent of people going through a divorce report feeling extreme anxiety.

Keep in mind that we’re not talking about temporary worry or concern. An anxiety disorder can result in severe outcomes—including panic attacks. Left unchecked, these conditions can become debilitating. Fortunately, there are proven ways to cope.

What is Anxiety?

Let’s begin by further clarifying the disorders begin discussed. Anxiety is a natural part of everyone’s life, and under certain circumstances, it can keep you safe. If anxiety becomes chronic, you can get stuck in a perpetual state of vigilance. From there, you can get caught up in a cycle of life-altering physical and emotional symptoms. This includes panic and panic attacks.

What are Panic Attacks?

Fear comes on suddenly and intensely. You feel it is beyond your control as a wave of physical reactions arise, e.g., palpitations, sweating, dizziness, hyperventilating, nausea, shaking, numbness, and dissociation.

Considering the impact of a divorce, such responses are not shocking. They also illustrate the importance of developing healthy coping mechanisms.

How to Cope with Anxiety & Panic Attacks During Divorce

• Practice self-care: Protect your eating, sleeping, and physical activity patterns. Amidst the swirling changes, prioritize yourself. 

• Recognize the need to grieve: Mourning is not just for when someone dies. Do the work to process your loss, and you will feel a decrease in anxiety. Don’t let others tell you when you should “move on” or “get over it.”

• Stay connected: It’s tempting to withdraw, and yes, some solitude is helpful. But avoid the urge to isolate yourself. Slowly begin the process of rebuilding your social life. 

• Try new life patterns: This may be the ideal time to reinvent yourself—one small step at a time.

• Be patient with yourself: There is no set timetable. Allow things to move at their own pace, and be sure to ask for help when you need it.

What to Do When a Panic Attack Occurs

As you take steps to address anxiety, you may remain prone to panic attacks for a little while. If so, keep in mind some tips for when panic becomes overwhelming:

• Start by closing your eyes to reduce stimulation. 

• Focus on taking deep breaths. This reminds your brain that you are not in danger.

• Ground yourself. Become aware of the sensations you are feeling. This could be the feeling of your feet standing on the ground or the wind blowing on your face.

• Slowly open your eyes and find something on which to aim your gaze. Sharply focus on this item and study it.

With practice, these techniques can become your automatic response. This reduces the intensity and duration of the panic attack. At the same time, of course, you will need to find ways to identify the root causes of your anxiety—and address those causes.

Getting to the Root

You may have had simmering anxiety all along, and it was the divorce that made it obvious. Perhaps you felt abandoned as a child, and that trauma has been unearthed. The possibilities are many. That’s why it makes sense to connect with a skilled mental health professional. Together, you can navigate the divorce while also exploring ways to enhance your coping skills in a more general way. If divorce has you struggling, let’s connect soon.

Learn more about Anxiety Therapy…

What is BIPOC Trauma?

Trauma is a frighteningly common global experience. It could be caused by a high-profile natural disaster. Far more often, the underlying reason is something more personal. For Black, Indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC), trauma can take on very unique and insidious forms. This is where the concept of BIPOC trauma (a.k.a. racial trauma) becomes a reality. 

From the time they are children, BIPOC face slights, abuses, and attacks that have been normalized over the decades and even centuries. Whether they have been targeted or have bore witness to the traumatic events, Black, Indigenous, and people of color can face debilitating outcomes, e.g., Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

How Does BIPOC Trauma Happen? 

The more obvious factors include physical violence or the threat thereof, micro-aggressions, invalidation, and public shaming. Because such treatment can be chronic and passed down through generations, it can qualify as complex trauma — further complicating the situation. However, another danger is how invisible the sources of trauma can be.

Long-Term Realities That Lead to BIPOC Trauma

Because we live in a world with systemic racism, many of us are blind to the trauma endured by BIPOC. Here are just a few of the daily realities of life as a BIPOC:

• Fear that you’ll be targeted by law enforcement solely based on the color of your skin.

• When moving into a new neighborhood, you cannot be sure if the locals will welcome you or even be friendly.

• In stores, you are watched and followed as you’re only there to steal or cause trouble.

• People expect you to be a “spokesperson” for others who share your race or ethnicity. 

• You wonder how often race plays a role in situations like applying for a job or a school.

This decidedly incomplete list gives you an idea of the many threads woven in the scourge of BIPOC trauma. They add up, escalate, and too often become so common as to become unseen — even by victims.

Obviously, systemic change is long overdue. However, at the same time, survivors of racial trauma need help, support, and treatment.

Addressing BIPOC Trauma

A powerful starting point is acceptance from yourself and others. Racism is a hot-button, misunderstood topic. This can lead to BIPOC feeling confused and conflicted about feeling traumatized. But healing — and ultimately, societal change — cannot happen until more folks speak out without shame. It is the abusers who should be struggling with shame, not you!

Other steps you can take:

• Connect: To avoid feeling alone or ashamed, connecting with people in your community can be a powerful tool. They get it and will validate you. This is a giant step toward healing.

• Support: Racism can temporarily make BIPOC feel powerless. This is far from the truth. Help others who are also struggling. Soothe your heart through kindness. 

• Self-Care: Traumatic racism has the potential to cause self-esteem and major stress. Self-care counters both trends. It improves your overall well-being. It also reminds you that you matter and deserve such positive attention and care.

Treatment For Trauma

Any and all types of trauma require treatment from a trauma-informed professional. In the case of racial trauma, it also requires a therapist who can handle the unique challenges involved. BIPOC need and deserve to be met where they are — with full respect for their lived experiences. 

Racial trauma requires resilience to navigate. In your weekly therapy sessions, you can develop the coping skills to help create resilience. Like all trauma, BIPOC trauma can be processed and resolved. This will not only help you live a life of self-empowerment, but it will also position you to do the work to help reimagine the world we live in. 

Learn more about Trauma Treatment.