How to Cope with Anxiety and Panic Attacks During Divorce

Divorce is unfortunately a common occurrence. Anxiety and panic attacks during divorce are almost as common. Even when a divorce feels like the best move and brings some form of relief, it is still a major life shift. A transition this big will inevitably cause high-stress levels—especially if children are involved. Studies find that at least 40 percent of people going through a divorce report feeling extreme anxiety.

Anxiety During Divorce

Keep in mind that we’re not talking about temporary worry or concern. An anxiety disorder can result in severe outcomes—including panic attacks. Left unchecked, these conditions can become debilitating. Fortunately, there are proven ways to cope.

What is Anxiety?

Let’s begin by further clarifying the disorders begin discussed. Anxiety is a natural part of everyone’s life, and under certain circumstances, it can keep you safe. If anxiety becomes chronic, you can get stuck in a perpetual state of vigilance. From there, you can get caught up in a cycle of life-altering physical and emotional symptoms. This includes panic and panic attacks.

What are Panic Attacks?

Fear comes on suddenly and intensely. You feel it is beyond your control as a wave of physical reactions arise, e.g., palpitations, sweating, dizziness, hyperventilating, nausea, shaking, numbness, and dissociation.

Considering the impact of a divorce, such responses are not shocking. They also illustrate the importance of developing healthy coping mechanisms.

How to Cope with Anxiety & Panic Attacks During Divorce

  • Practice self-care: Protect your eating, sleeping, and physical activity patterns. Amidst the swirling changes, prioritize yourself. 

  • Recognize the need to grieve: Mourning is not just for when someone dies. Do the work to process your loss, and you will feel a decrease in anxiety. Don’t let others tell you when you should “move on” or “get over it.”

  • Stay connected: It’s tempting to withdraw, and yes, some solitude is helpful. But avoid the urge to isolate yourself. Slowly begin the process of rebuilding your social life. 

  • Try new life patterns: This may be the ideal time to reinvent yourself—one small step at a time.

  • Be patient with yourself: There is no set timetable. Allow things to move at their own pace, and be sure to ask for help when you need it.

What to Do When a Panic Attack Occurs

As you take steps to address anxiety, you may remain prone to panic attacks for a little while. If so, keep in mind some tips for when panic becomes overwhelming:

  • Start by closing your eyes to reduce stimulation. 

  • Focus on taking deep breaths. This reminds your brain that you are not in danger.

  • Ground yourself. Become aware of the sensations you are feeling. This could be the feeling of your feet standing on the ground or the wind blowing on your face.

  • Slowly open your eyes and find something on which to aim your gaze. Sharply focus on this item and study it.

With practice, these techniques can become your automatic response. This reduces the intensity and duration of the panic attack. At the same time, of course, you will need to find ways to identify the root causes of your anxiety—and address those causes.

Getting to the Root

You may have had simmering anxiety all along, and it was the divorce that made it obvious. Perhaps you felt abandoned as a child, and that trauma has been unearthed. The possibilities are many. That’s why it makes sense to connect with a skilled mental health professional. Together, you can navigate the divorce while also exploring ways to enhance your coping skills in a more general way. If divorce has you struggling, let’s connect soon.

Learn more about Anxiety Therapy