How People Pleasing Can Fuel Depression

In the realm of mental health, it's crucial to understand the intricate ways in which our behaviors and thought patterns can influence our emotional well-being. Among these behaviors, "people pleasing" is a notable factor that can subtly and significantly contribute to the development or exacerbation of depression.

What is People Pleasing?

People pleasing is a behavioral pattern where an individual prioritizes the happiness and approval of others, often at the expense of their own needs and feelings. This habit stems from a variety of sources, including low self-esteem, fear of rejection, or a deep-seated need for external validation.

The Link Between People Pleasing and Depression

Depression, a common but serious mood disorder, affects how you feel, think, and handle daily activities. It's characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, loss of interest and enjoyment, and a range of physical problems.

People pleasing can fuel depression in several ways:

1. Suppression of True Feelings: Constantly catering to others' needs can lead to the suppression of one's own emotions. This suppression can result in a build-up of stress, resentment, and sadness - key ingredients for depressive feelings.

2. Loss of Identity: People pleasers often lose touch with their own identity and desires. This disconnection from self can create a sense of emptiness or lack of purpose, which are common feelings in depression.

3. Chronic Stress and Burnout: Striving to meet everyone's expectations is an exhausting endeavor. This relentless effort can lead to chronic stress and burnout, both of which are linked to the onset of depressive symptoms.

4. Reinforcement of Negative Beliefs: People pleasing can reinforce negative self-beliefs, such as not being good enough unless others are pleased. These beliefs can perpetuate a cycle of negative thinking that is central to depressive disorders.

Breaking the Cycle

The good news is that this cycle can be broken. Therapy can be effective in addressing the underlying causes of people pleasing and developing healthier coping mechanisms. Learning to set boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and learning how to be assertive are crucial steps in this journey.

Remember, seeking to please others is not inherently negative, but it becomes a concern when it consistently overrides personal well-being. Recognizing and addressing people-pleasing behaviors can be a significant step in managing depression and enhancing overall mental health.

For those struggling with these issues, seeking professional help can be a transformative step towards healing and self-empowerment.

Learn more about Depression Treatment…

5 Ways to Manage Depression After Your Wedding

Stand-up punchlines aside, “post-wedding blues” are a thing. This is a real issue that requires your full attention. The build-up to your wedding day can be intense and all-consuming. But now, here you are, living through a real — and huge — transition. Things may feel anticlimactic. You may feel an emptiness now that the emotions swirling around the wedding itself have come and gone. There are so many life adjustments to be made.

All of this can add up to feelings of sadness, fatigue, lack of concentration, and more. Left unchecked, post-wedding blues can escalate into full-blown depression — especially for anyone who has struggled with depression in the past.

What Can Cause Depression After Your Wedding?

A few basic reasons are mentioned above, but here are two potential factors to keep in mind:

Going Back to Everyday Life

There was the planning, then the event, and almost certainly, a honeymoon. Now, things may feel like a grind — going to work, doing laundry, and all that. It can feel like quite a letdown.

Related Expenses

In the midst of it all, money might have felt like it was no object. Then the bills start arriving. This can take you to a mental place where “real life” no longer feels like so much fun.

5 Ways to Manage Depression After Your Wedding

1. Practice Self-Care As a Team

When mood swings have you on edge, a powerful source of resilience is self-care. This typically involves:

• Daily exercise and physical movement

• Consistent sleep patterns

• Healthy eating choices

• Relaxation techniques and stress management

Best of all, these are commitments you can make as a couple. When self-care becomes a source of teamwork, you deepen your bond and resist the pull of post-wedding blues.

2. Talk About the Future 

Remind yourselves that your wedding day was definitely not the pinnacle. You have innumerable episodes of joy and adventure ahead, so why not get busy making plans? Don’t move passively into the future. Pledge together by setting goals and creating new visions. You may always look back at your wedding photos with gratitude, but you can do so from a place of even greater gratitude.

3. Be Present, Too

While you’re having conversations about your shared future, be sure to also talk about the present. How are you feeling and why? How can you support each other? What steps can be taken right now to lighten your load and build positive energy? Some right-this-moment suggestions:

• Try something new together

• Create your own traditions and rituals 

• Do things together, e.g. cooking, cleaning, taking walks, etc.

• Surprise each other with love notes, warm text messages, and other loving gestures

Another great collaboration idea is to volunteer as a couple. Find causes that inspire both of you and give back to your community. Experiences like this can develop new ways to appreciate your connection.

4. Connect With Others

It’s tempting to believe that each partner provides everything the other partner needs. On the contrary, you must stay connected to the people you love — while also being open to making new friends. Perhaps you’re not into late-night climbing anymore, but there’s nothing stopping you from making plans like hiking, yoga classes, or other interests.

Simultaneously, encourage one another to develop independence. It’s an important part of any relationship to cultivate your own social life and interests. This balance goes a long way in staving off or managing post-wedding depression.

5. Ask For Help

Almost every married couple struggles with post-wedding adjustments. You’re not alone, and you do not have to suffer in silence.

If any of the above resonates with you, I urge you to reach out and set up a free and confidential consultation. 

Learn more about Depression Treatment.

How Long Do Bipolar Episodes Last?

When you’re struggling with a condition that causes extreme swings and shifts in mood (and more), it’s logical to ask how long these episodes will last. That’s a common concern for anyone diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Fluctuating between moods of mania and depression is a major challenge to daily functioning. 

While there is no way to accurately predict the frequency or duration of bipolar cycles, as you’ll see below, certain patterns do exist. It is also important to bear in mind that some folks experience mania and depression symptoms at the same time. For the purposes of this post, we’ll focus on episodes that are more clearly delineated. 

What Are Bipolar Episodes?

Manic

You talk more but sleep and eat less. Your thoughts are racing, but, for the most part, they are all about perceived positivity. A manic bipolar episode can leave you feeling invulnerable, and thus, it’s not unusual for the person to engage in risky behaviors — but remember very little about these choices.

Depressive

Conversely, a depressive episode will appear like a rapid downward spiral that ends in a crash. Everything slows down, and the general vibe is that of sadness and hopelessness. Sleeping and eating habits swing back to the extreme while speech slows down and thoughts are the opposite of manic elation. The person is unmotivated to do anything and can eventually slip into a place of self-harm and suicidal ideation. 

How Long Do Bipolar Episodes Last?

We’re back to the question at hand. Here are just a few of the factors that can influence the duration of bipolar episodes:

• Specific diagnosis

• How engaged the person is with their treatment plan (someone diligently following the protocol can have shorter episodes) 

• Use of alcohol or drugs can induce mania 

• An inevitable variance between individuals 

That said, some general trends can be observed:

• Episodes can range from hours in length to, in rare cases, years

• If symptoms become severe, hospitalization is sometimes suggested 

• Depressive episodes tend to last longer than manic episodes across the board

• In some cases, the cycling can be quite rapid  

What is Rapid Cycling?

Anywhere from 10 to 20 percent of people with bipolar disorder will experience rapid cycling. This means the time between episodes is brief enough that they can experience at least four cycles in any 12-month period. Rapid cycling is not automatically an ongoing issue and can be transient. However, it could also transition into “ultra-rapid cycling.” This occurs when an individual cycles through manic and depressive episodes in a very short time period. How short? Typically, it would be one month, but it could take place within a 24-hour window. At that point, we’re talking about a very fine line of difference between ultra-rapid cycling and a mixed episode.

What Does All This Mean For Someone With Bipolar Disorder?

It may sound disheartening not to get a straight answer on the length of episodes. But the sobering news above can be viewed as a positive motivation. It aims a person in a new direction. They can focus primarily on connecting with a compatible therapist and dedicating themselves to following the treatment plan. This has been shown to be incredibly helpful.

In addition, basic self-care is a powerful supplementary tool. Healthy habits can work to counterbalance some of the bipolar symptoms. It’s also important to have a trusted friend, spouse, or other family member to advocate for you in all medical settings. 

Remember that while your symptoms — and thus, the specifics of your episodes — are unique to you, this doesn’t mean you are alone. Connecting with a bipolar disorder support group can be a powerful source of support and solace. 

Lear more about Depression Therapy.

How Does Bipolar Depression Differ From Traditional Depression?

In the age of search engines, the average person knows more about medical conditions than ever before. But things are not that simple. Even professionals can misdiagnose. A big reason for this is that some conditions are very similar. For example, the depressive episodes of bipolar disorder can easily be confused with traditional depression. 

Of course, it is essential that the correct diagnosis is found in every situation. In the case of bipolar depression and traditional depression, this begins with understanding the differences. A big part of this is accepting that the person in question may not be best positioned to perceive how the disorders diverge.

Let’s Start With The Basics

Bipolar Disorder

Known for its alternating extreme episodes of mania and depression, bipolar disorder can also include periods of no symptoms. These swings are typically not related to a life event and often interfere with one’s ability to function on a daily basis. The condition has two sets of symptoms: 

Mania Symptoms

• Operating on very little sleep

• High energy, high activity, general euphoria

• Restlessness

• Unrealistic ideas

• Racing thoughts

• Quick to anger

• High sex drive

• Poor judgment because you don’t recognize that you have a problem

Depression Symptoms 

• Sadness and despair almost all the time

• Losing interest in activities that once excited you (including sex)

• Low energy 

• Inability to concentrate 

• Sleep disturbances 

• Appetite changes

• A general mood of hopelessness, pessimism, guilt, emptiness, or self-doubt

• Unexplained aches and pains

• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide 

Depression 

This is a mood disorder that does not have episodes of mania or symptomless periods. Its hallmark is despair and stifling sadness. To be diagnosed with depression, you must present with five or more of the following signs for at least two weeks:

• Sadness and despair almost all the time

• Losing interest in activities that once excited you (including sex)

• Low energy 

• Inability to concentrate 

• Sleep disturbances 

• Appetite changes

• A general mood of hopelessness, pessimism, guilt, emptiness, or self-doubt

• Unexplained aches and pains

• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

How Are Depression And Bipolar Disorder Diagnosed?

If someone is in the midst of a bipolar disorder depressive episode, it can be virtually impossible to distinguish it from traditional depression. Since people with bipolar disorder often cannot recognize mania in themselves, they may not report those symptoms. 

Therefore, an accurate diagnosis will require firsthand input from someone who has witnessed both types of episodes. From there, the medical profession can engage in further observation to make a determination. This will include taking a medical history and being made aware of any medications the persona may be taking. 

A treatment plan can only be chosen once a diagnosis is agreed upon.

Treating Bipolar Disorder or Depression 

Both conditions can be managed via talk therapy and medication. Typically, it would be mood stabilizers for bipolar disorder and antidepressants for depression. In both cases, the protocol is flexible and subject to change — based on results and response to the medications. Become active participants in your treatment and never underestimate the importance of your input when it comes to making decisions. 

Through it all, individuals with either disorder are encouraged to supplement treatment with self-care and the cultivation of a support system. 

Suggestions include: 

• Diligent self-education 

• Identifying your triggers and having a plan in place for extreme situations

• Do not self-isolate 

• Connect with support groups in person and/or online 

• Avoid alcohol and other substances

• Make healthy eating choices

• Partake in daily exercise and physical activity 

• Maintain regular sleep patterns 

Depression, in any of its forms, is nothing to tackle alone. If any of the above resonated with you, please reach out to get the help you need and deserve. 

Learn more about Depression Treatment…

5 Symptoms of Depression in Men

Both men and women deal with depression. There are some similarities in how the disorder presents but some very important differences, too. First and foremost, women appear to be twice as likely to struggle with depression. I say “appear” because there are some very important factors to consider.

For starters, due to cultural conditioning, men seem to be far less willing to report feeling depression symptoms. In addition, the signs of depression that men show may not be familiar to others — or to the men themselves. While depressed women are openly sad and often cry, men often replace sadness with anger. This makes it critical that we all become more aware of such symptoms.

Why Do Men Get Depression?

The reasons anyone gets this condition are complex. But some general depression risk factors exist for men, e.g.: 

• Childhood trauma or abuse can make them more vulnerable to depression as adults

• Chronic, everyday stress is enough to challenge anyone’s mental well-being

• Depression is more likely if the man is already dealing with a physical illness

• At least one-third of prescribed medications have the potential to cause depression as a side effect

• Genetics seem to play a role in terms of family history 

So, the first step is to identify such risk factors for yourself or other men in your life. From there, it becomes urgent to familiarize yourself with the outward signs. There are well-known symptoms that can affect men and women equally. These include:

• Profound sorrow and sadness

• Feeling empty or hopeless

• Intense fatigue

• Sleep and appetite disturbances

• No longer getting pleasure from activities you once enjoyed (including sex)

But what about the symptoms that seem more prevalent in men?

5 Symptoms of Depression in Men

1. Anger

This can manifest as personal irritability, frustration, or restlessness. Just as often, depression-related anger can be inappropriate, abusive, and violent. It can feel controlling and threatening. Depression clichés may have you looking for someone acting gloomy or blue. In reality, as many as half of men with depression report having a short, explosive temper. 

2. Choosing Escapism

Are you allocating an unusual amount of time to activities that serve as a distraction? Such activities could involve exercise, sports, video games, pornography, social media, or anything that helps you ignore the intensity of the depressive emotions. This could be a major red flag.

3. Risky Behaviors

Escalating the escapism could move you into the realm of immediate danger. The unconscious goal here is numbing the pain rather than talking about it. Common risky behaviors for men with depression are:

• Reckless driving 

• Over-consuming alcohol 

• Other forms of substance abuse

• Gambling

• Seeing prostitutes, cheating on a partner, and engaging in unsafe sex practices

4. Sexual Dysfunction

Counter to the list item on the list directly above, depression in men can derail their sex life in several ways. For example:

• Depression itself can reduce one’s sex drive

• Arousal can be fleeting

• Some men are unable to attain orgasms 

• Some medications prescribed for depression can cause sexual dysfunction

Roughly 25 percent of men with erectile dysfunction have diagnosed or undiagnosed depression. Since men are not keen on reporting either depression or sexual issues, that number could be much, much higher. 

5. Suicidal Thoughts/Suicide Attempts 

The most frightening paradox of this topic is highlighted by there two U.S.-based statistics:

• Women have twice as high a depression rate as men

• Men are four times as likely to die from suicide 

This points to the tendency for men to withdraw socially while disguising their symptoms. It also drives home just how important it is to know more about men and depression — and to ask for help. 

Learn more about Depression Therapy.

What is Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy & Is it Right for You?

Psychotherapy never stops evolving. As time passes, more and more treatment options are available to people in need. Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) is a relatively new concept that is rapidly gaining acceptance and popularity. Ketamine is a psychedelic drug that can induce a hypnotic state during which healing happens.

Ketamine began as an animal anesthetic but was used for humans during the Vietnam War. Such use expanded to emergency responders, and that’s how its psychotherapeutic potential was discovered. When ketamine was given to a person who had attempted suicide, it had an unexpected, positive side effect—suicide ideation was drastically reduced.

Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy FAQ

How does KAP work?

Ketamine is believed to impact a particular neurotransmitter that increases your brain’s ability to adapt and adjust. Through a process called neuroplasticity, your nerve cells become better equipped to reduce the risk of mental distress. For example, KAP has been found to short-circuit the factors that can create treatment-resistant depression. 

What other conditions are commonly treated with KAP? 

The list is long, varied, and growing. Some problems addressed via KAP include Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, substance abuse, disordered eating, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, chronic pain, and Bipolar Disorder. 

How is ketamine administered?

Lozenges are the most common method. But it can also be delivered via injections, nasal sprays, and intravenous infusions. The positive impact is felt within minutes. 

What are KAP sessions like?

Your therapist is with you all the way as the ketamine eases you into a trance-like state for about 40 to 60 minutes. Think of it as a healthy and productive form of dissociation. But there’s even more to it than the actual ketamine sessions.

In between, you meet with your therapist to work on integration, during which:

• You talk about your ketamine experiences 

• Integrate these experiences into your everyday life

• Homework is given as a way to carry over the healing outside the therapy setting 

Are there any side effects or other cautions to know about?

Let’s start with the side effects. Generally speaking, they are rare. If present, they usually present as minor episodes of:

• Drowsiness

• Headache 

• Nausea 

• Headache

• Increased blood pressure and/or heart rate

• Disorientation

You will need someone to bring you home from the sessions in which ketamine is administered. Other factors to bear in mind:

• In cases when ketamine is injected, needles are involved 

• Anyone deemed susceptible to addiction must address this reality in pre-treatment conversations

• Make sure your insurance will cover KAP

• Be diligent about making sure your KAP clinic is regulated 

What can KAP offer me?

KAP can provide symptom relief that often occurs in a matter of hours. In addition, most patients experience long-lasting symptom relief and become more sustainable with ensuing sessions. KAP is still relatively new, so there’s not a very long-term record yet. What we do know is promising—especially for folks who have not found relief through other treatment approaches.

General Benefits of Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy

• Calm mind

• Mood enhancer

• New brain cell growth 

• A reduction of pain and, thus, less of a need for traditional painkillers

• A general sense of being an active participant in your everyday life 

How Can You Know if KAP is Right for You?

I will safely assume that the above summary of KAP has provided some answers and provoked more questions. As is typically the case, the next step is to speak with a mental health professional with experience in Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy. Therefore, I invite you to reach out at your earliest convenience to learn more. Let’s talk about your situation and decide together if KAP is the right path to take you to a place of healing and recovery. 

5 Signs of High-Functioning Depression

You might imagine that depression is easily recognizable—in others and in yourself. In many cases, you would be correct. However, a condition called Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD) is also a reality. Euphemistically called “high-function depression,” PDD is less severe than a major depressive disorder. However, that’s where the danger may lie. 

If it’s downplayed or even ignored, it will (as the name implies) persist even though treatment is needed. Since all forms of depression carry with them a risk of suicide, this is obviously not what anyone wants.

High-Functioning Depression and Its Risks 

PDD may feel like you’re in some kind of limbo. On the one hand, you’re functioning. You go to work or school, and you handle the basic daily functions of life. At the same time, you’re unhappy and lacking energy. It feels like too much to maintain relationships and friendships. Your responsibilities are overwhelming. This in-between state puts you at risk for:

“It’s all in my head.”

If there’s no clear-cut sign of an illness, you may think you’re being overdramatic. Things are not that bad, and none of the people in your life seem too concerned about you. They tell you—and you tell yourself—that the answer is as simple as “snapping out of it.”

“It’s no big deal.”

It is critical that more people learn to recognize the signs of PDD. When you minimize the severity of your feelings, you surrender the opportunity to get help. The longer this lasts, the greater the risks.

5 Signs of High-Functioning Depression

Someone with PDD may smile as often as anyone else. They may hold down a job, have friends, and be raising a family. Upon closer examination, all is not nearly as well as it seems. 

1. Talking About Feeling Sad or Hopeless

People with PDD cry a lot but may be good at hiding it. If you listen carefully, what you might identify are:

• Chronic self-criticism 

• Comments about feeling “empty” or lacking hope

• Expressing regret about things they did in the past or decisions they made that led to where they are now

• Outbursts of anger and/or irritability 

• Morbid curiosity about death and dying

On their own, statements like this don’t automatically diagnose anything. But, for certain, they must not be dismissed or ignored. 

2. More Effort Needed

Sure, you can get things done with high-functioning depression. But wow, it takes a whole lot of extra effort. Your to-do list has been tackled, but you’ve got nothing left. Even during the process of being productive, you’re still not working at the level you once did. Concentrating, in particular, feels exhausting.

3. The Pain Comes Out in Other Ways

Since PDD is less obvious, the person may feel ashamed that they’re down “for no reason.” They opt to hide it from loved ones. What they can’t hide is how the problem manifests elsewhere, e.g.

• Unexplained aches, pain, and tension (including headaches) 

• Appetite swings from increase to decrease

• Unplanned weight loss or gain

• Sleep disturbances that can involve insomnia or excessive sleep 

• Feeling low energy even when you sleep for 10 or more hours 

4. Self-Medication 

When you don’t recognize that you’re depressed or you’re trying to hide it, what do you do for comfort? The answer, too often, is self-medication. It might be drugs, alcohol, overeating, risky behaviors, pornography — basically anything that might temporarily fill the void. 

5. Less Joy, Less Fun

Here is where friends and family members can recognize the problem. People with PDD lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. This can include sex. 

Look For Clarity

If you have a sense of feeling depressed, why not reach out and learn more? It could be the most important call you ever make. 

Learn more about Depression Therapy.

What is Bipolar Disorder?

Never before has there been more mainstream awareness of mental health issues. This reality is critical in helping people become more capable of recognizing signs and seeking help. However, like most aspects of modern life, increased awareness can lead to a parallel increase in confusion and misunderstandings. Take, for example, Bipolar Disorder.

The word “bipolar” is often casually tossed around as an all-purpose adjective. As a result, false perceptions can propagate. People who genuinely struggle with Bipolar Disorder may end up acting upon information that will not help them. Therefore, in the name of accuracy, let’s present some basic facts about a disease that impacts about 1 in 40 Americans today.

Bipolar I Disorder

There are other, less severe variations of this disorder, and we will touch on them below. For now, the focus will be on the most common and challenging version. Bipolar I Disorder presents with alternating episodes of mania and depression. Since depression is a common mood disorder on its own, Bipolar I Disorder is most often diagnosed when a person is in the throes of a manic episode. 

What’s a Manic Episode Like?

The primary criteria include the following:

• A person is either extremely energetic or irritable

• The episode lasts at least one week

• The person’s behavior is unlike how they typically behave

In order for Bipolar Disorder to be considered a possible cause, the person must experience at least three of the changes on this list (for at least one week):

• Rapid speech and/or talking much more than usual 

• Racing, ever-changing thoughts that are evident through the person’s conversation topics

• Feeling so much energy that they barely sleep

• Burning off that energy through non-stop activity 

• Easily distracted

• Engaging in risky or dangerous behavior 

These kinds of symptoms are severe enough to hamper one’s ability to handle daily functioning. In more extreme instances, the person may experience psychotic signs like hallucinations.

What’s a Major Depressive Episode Like?

The “down” episode lasts at least two weeks, during which the person in question displays intense sadness and loses interest in activities that once excited them (including sex). Beyond that, you must experience at least four of the following symptoms:

• Sleep and appetite disturbances (increase or decrease of either)

• Fatigue

• Restlessness

• A feeling of worthlessness or guilt

• Inability to concentrate 

• Slow movement and/or speech

• Thoughts of death, dying, or suicide

Other Important Bipolar Disorder Facts

• In Bipolar II Disorder, the depressive and hypomanic episodes are shorter and less severe.

• Someone with Cyclothymic Disorder experiences hypomanic and depressive symptoms.  However, these symptoms are briefer and less intense and, thus, do not qualify as episodes.

• As many as 9 in 10 people with Bipolar Disorder have a family history of the condition.

• The average at which Bipolar Disorder is diagnosed is 25.

• There are no clear-cut causes, but stress, substance abuse, and biochemical imbalances are believed to play a role.

How is Bipolar Disorder Treated?

As challenging as all of the above may sound, help is available. A blend of medication and talk therapy commonly results in a lessening of symptoms. Treatment is very individualized, but mood-enhancing medications have proved effective. However, since Bipolar Disorder can seriously disrupt your day-to-day life, therapy is a powerful co-modality. Working with a therapist is an excellent way to learn more about the illness. In addition, your therapy sessions are valuable in helping you avoid triggers and stay on point with medications.

Loving someone with Bipolar Disorder has its challenges, and it makes a whole lot of sense to seek the support you need. Both therapy and support groups are also useful for family members, partners, and other loved ones. Either way, it starts with a free and confidential consultation.

Explaining Depression & Anxiety to Your Partner

Anxiety and depression are the two most common mental health conditions on the planet. Therefore, it’s not far-fetched that you may struggle with such issues in your life. But how does one handle this within the context of a relationship? If you have a physical illness or injury, it is often obvious. How, then, can you make certain you’re being heard and validated when dealing with an emotional disorder?

You want and expect your partner to be, well… your partner. They should be there for you with love, support, and understanding. But with depression or anxiety, the “understanding” part can be the trickiest.

4 Steps Toward Explaining Depression & Anxiety to Your Partner

1. Get Yourself a Journal

These will be important but very vulnerable conversations so prepare yourself. Make some bullet points of what feels most important to convey. Keep adding to this list as you get closer to having the first discussion. Keep the list handy during the chat, so you don’t forget something out of nervousness.

Some factors to consider:

• Finding out how much your partner already knows about anxiety and/or depression.

• If you want/need ongoing conversations, make this clear.

• Ask yourself what kind of reaction and support you wish for.

• What would you prefer your partner not do?

• How much do you want your partner to be involved in your treatment plan?

• Are you okay with friends and families knowing?

2. Timing and Other Logistics

A few (of many) factors to consider:

• There is no “perfect” time to talk, so follow your heart.

• Also, clear out enough time to not feel rushed.

• Have this conversation face-to-face.

• Minimize distractions, e.g., noise, devices, etc.

• Provide resources to get them started with self-education.

On that last note, it’s not your job to inform them 24/7. But make certain that the accumulation of knowledge is ongoing. Most importantly, focus on your specific case (see #3 below).

3. Talk About You

No two people experience anxiety or depression the same way. There are commonalities, of course, but what matters most for this conversation is your particular experience. This can be another list in your journal, e.g., how your condition impacts you. Your partner must know how anxiety or depression may influence your energy level, focus, sex drive, emotional regulation, and more.

4. Let Them Know What Helps

Keep that journal handy because it’s time for another list. Your partner may feel a little overwhelmed and perhaps inadequate. Be prepared with some easy suggestions for starters.

• Tell them what triggers you and makes you feel worse.

• Urge them not to take it personally if you display a mood swing.

• Promise them you will be direct with them if your mood swing is not related to anxiety or depression.

• Give them as much as you can so they can be the best partner they can be.

Remind your partner that opening up like this is meaningful. It is a powerful way to remind each other that your relationship is not just about fun, sex, and doing laundry. Sitting them down for a serious talk is proof of how much you trust them. Sure, anxiety or depression will present challenges, but your trusting bond can be a major counterbalance.

Does it Help to Have a Therapist Involved?

Short answer: Absolutely, yes! The partner with the mental health condition may feel embarrassed to focus on it. The other partner feels blindsided and confused. Talking this out in the presence of a professional, unbiased guide is a proven path toward deepening your connection. If you or your partner are struggling with depression or anxiety, let’s talk about it soon.

Seasonal Depression: How to Recognize It and How to Combat It

Do certain times of year—particularly the winter—get you down? On the surface, this is neither unusual nor alarming. However, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a thing, and it is a diagnosable form of depression. SAD can occur during the summer months, but this mood disorder almost always kicks in by late fall and continues through the darker, colder winter months.

Full-blown SAD affects roughly 11 million Americans per year. I say “roughly” because it can get underreported and/or inadvertently lumped in with traditional depression. Then, a milder version—typically referred to as “winter blues”—impacts another 25 million annually. So, how can you figure out what’s going on?

How to Recognize Seasonal Depression

In its initial phase in the late fall, symptoms may be too mild to concern you. As winter progresses, so do the signs and symptoms. Here is some of what to watch for:

• Feeling sadness for most of nearly every day

• No longer interested in activities that once interested you (including sex)

• Craving junk food

• Overeating and gaining weight

• Low energy

• Inability to concentrate 

• Sleep disturbances (most commonly, oversleeping, but those with summer SAD often experience insomnia)

• Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness

• Thoughts of death, dying, and suicide

What Causes SAD?

Specific causes for SAD have not been identified, but factors are believed to include the following:

• The change of seasons and reduction of sunlight can disrupt levels of important chemicals like serotonin and melatonin. This will result in mood changes.

• In addition, less sunlight has been known to throw off one’s internal biological clock. 

Some risk factors to consider:

• SAD impacts women more than men and younger adults more than older adults.

• Those with major depression or bipolar disorder are at greater risk.

• Family history is a factor. Having relatives with SAD (or other forms of depression) makes you more likely to struggle with it.

• Less sunlight often means less vitamin D in your body. This can lead to a decrease in the aforementioned serotonin. 

• Geography matters. The further you live from the equator, the less sustained sunlight and the higher risk of SAD.

How to Combat Seasonal Depression

If you’ve come to realize that the approach of winter does not agree with you, take steps in preparation. These can include:

• Making outdoor plans in advance. Maximize your time out in fresh air and, most importantly, sunlight. Whenever possible, make those plans active. Exercise is a proven way to lift your mood. Also, if SAD is making you gain weight, movement will help balance that out. Also, invite others along on these outings. Quality social time is another valuable bulwark against depression.

• Artificial light therapy. Invest in products like dawn simulators and lightboxes. They can keep your circadian rhythm on track and help fend off SAD.

• Create and adhere to a routine. When the sun’s patterns shift, it can throw off your bedtime and waking times. Left unchecked, this can turn into a vicious cycle. So, for starters, set up a firm sleep schedule. Build around that sleep schedule by creating other life routines that keep you in a rhythm. 

• Talk with your doctor about vitamin D. If there’s less sun available, make sure you’re getting enough via diet or supplementation. Get expert advice and then stick to it. 

Speaking of Expert Advice…

Treatment for any kind of depression requires professional help. Working with a therapist is the ideal starting point. Your weekly sessions will offer you solace and space to share. You can better understand what you’re feeling and why. Best of all, you’ll work together to cultivate new approaches to address and manage Seasonal Depression. Let’s connect soon and talk more about this.