Depression affects millions of people every year, but it doesn't always look the same for everyone—especially for men. Men are often taught to be “strong,” “self-reliant,” and emotionally reserved, which can make it difficult for them to recognize or admit when they are struggling with their mental health. Thus, depression can manifest differently in men, and it may show up in ways that aren’t always associated with sadness. Understanding the signs can help men, and those who care about them, take the steps needed to get support.
Here are five common signs of depression in men that are often overlooked:
1. Anger or Irritability
While depression is often linked with sadness or hopelessness, many men express their depression through irritability or anger. This anger can be directed outward at friends, family, or coworkers, or even inward through harsh self-criticism. In a society where men are often taught that showing vulnerability is a weakness, they might feel more comfortable expressing frustration rather than admitting feelings of sadness or despair. This anger is sometimes accompanied by a sense of restlessness, impatience, or an inability to relax.
Without recognizing it as a symptom of depression, this irritability can strain relationships and increase feelings of isolation. Ironically, in their efforts to remain "strong" and avoid vulnerability, men may find themselves feeling isolated and drained, weakening their capacity to cope.
2. Withdrawing from Social Activities
Men experiencing depression may begin to withdraw from the people and activities that once brought them joy. This withdrawal can manifest in several ways—avoiding friends, skipping social events, or losing interest in hobbies that were once enjoyable. For some men, this retreat is a coping mechanism. They may feel emotionally drained, overwhelmed, or embarrassed about their struggles and prefer to avoid interactions that require energy or explanation.
Isolation can be a self-reinforcing cycle, as the more disconnected someone becomes, the harder it can be to reach out for help. When a man suddenly becomes more distant, this might be a sign that he's dealing with something deeper than just a bad day.
3. Physical Symptoms
It’s not uncommon for men to experience depression through physical symptoms. Chronic pain, headaches, stomach issues, or other unexplained physical complaints can often accompany depression. These symptoms may be a result of the body’s prolonged stress response, and men might not even recognize the connection to their mental health. Instead, they might visit doctors to find the cause of their physical discomfort, but without an obvious diagnosis, they may feel frustrated or helpless.
Since physical symptoms are easier to acknowledge and treat than emotional ones, men might not connect their pain to depression, making it important to consider mental health when physical symptoms persist without a clear cause.
4. Substance Abuse
Another common sign of depression in men is an increased reliance on alcohol or drugs to cope with their emotions. Men may turn to substances to numb their feelings or escape from the overwhelming weight of depression. While this can provide temporary relief, it often leads to a dangerous cycle where the substance use worsens the depression, deepening the feelings of isolation and hopelessness.
Substance abuse can also serve as a form of avoidance. Rather than addressing the root cause of their struggles, some men may try to drown out their feelings, which delays the healing process and can have serious long-term consequences on both their mental and physical health.
5. Risky Behaviors or Overworking
Engaging in risky behaviors or throwing oneself into work are also signs of depression in men. When men feel out of control emotionally, they may seek to regain a sense of power or escape through high-risk activities like reckless driving, gambling, or even engaging in dangerous physical pursuits.
On the other hand, some men immerse themselves in work or hobbies as a way to distract themselves from their emotions. While this might seem productive on the surface, it can become unhealthy if it's done to the point of burnout or exhaustion. These behaviors are often attempts to avoid confronting their feelings, but over time, they only add to the stress and worsen the depression.
Encouraging Help-Seeking
Recognizing these signs in yourself or a loved one is the first step in addressing depression. If someone you know is showing these signs, approach the topic with care and compassion. Let them know you’re there to listen and support them without judgment. Encourage them to seek professional help, whether through therapy, counseling, or a trusted healthcare provider. You can also learn more about depression treatment here.
It’s important to remember that depression is treatable, and reaching out for help is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.