You’re finally in bed. The lights are off. The day is over.

And your brain? It’s just getting started.

Thoughts begin spinning—about something you said, something you didn’t do, something that might happen tomorrow. You shift positions. Check the clock. Try a deep breath. But instead of winding down, your mind winds up. It can feel like there’s a spotlight on every worry, and nothing to distract you from it.

You finally get a quiet moment—and suddenly your brain decides now is the time to replay that awkward conversation from three days ago.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Nighttime anxiety is incredibly common, and it’s not just in your head (well, it is—but it’s also in your nervous system). There are real reasons your brain struggles to settle at night, and thankfully, there are things you can do to shift the pattern.

Why Anxiety Gets Worse at Night

1. Fewer Distractions

During the day, you’re busy—meetings, errands, conversations. These things give your mind something else to focus on. At night, everything quiets down, and what’s been bubbling under the surface can suddenly feel loud.

2. The Nervous System Is Still Activated

Even if your day didn’t feel outwardly stressful, your body may still be holding tension. Without movement or stimulation to release it, that tension accumulates. When the body doesn’t shift into rest mode, the mind doesn’t either.

3. The Brain Tries to Problem-Solve

Your brain wants to help. And when things feel unresolved, it tends to go into fix-it mode—especially when you’re lying still. Unfortunately, trying to resolve life’s issues in the dark while half-tired rarely leads to peace.

4. Circadian Rhythm and Cortisol

Cortisol, the stress hormone, normally rises in the morning and drops at night. But if that rhythm is disrupted—by stress, trauma, or irregular sleep—it can spike at night, mimicking anxiety or amplifying it.

Common Patterns of Nighttime Anxiety

You may notice:

Rumination: Replaying conversations or worrying about tomorrow
Perfectionism flare-ups: Rehearsing unfinished tasks or imagined mistakes
Somatic symptoms: Restlessness, racing heart, chest tightness
Sleep dread: Worrying that you won’t fall asleep (which keeps you awake)
Hyper-responsibility: Feeling like it’s all on you and cycling through what-ifs

What to Do About It

1. Soothe the Body to Settle the Mind

Your mind takes cues from your body. When your system is in a state of safety, your thoughts tend to follow.

Try progressive muscle relaxation (tense and release one muscle group at a time)
Use 4-7-8 breathing (inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8) to slow your heart rate
Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly—a grounding touch that signals calm

2. Externalize Your Thoughts

Trying not to think rarely works. Instead, give your thoughts a place to go.

Keep a notebook next to your bed to jot things down
Use a “thought parking” method: tell yourself, “This isn’t urgent. I can return to it with a clearer mind in the morning.”

3. Establish a Consistent Wind-Down Routine

You don’t need a perfect routine—just something that gently signals “the day is done.”

Dim lights, unplug screens, and reduce stimulation 30–60 minutes before bed
If you’re lying in bed and can’t settle, get up and do something quiet for a few minutes before returning
Try a calming phrase: “I’ve done enough for today. Now it’s time to rest.”

4. Reframe What’s Happening

Nighttime anxiety isn’t a character flaw—it’s a nervous system still in overdrive, trying to help. It may be trying to prevent future mistakes, manage uncertainty, or resolve something that feels unfinished.

You’re not spiraling—you’re over-activated. And that’s something that can be worked with.

When to Consider Therapy

If nighttime anxiety is frequent, disruptive, or tied to deeper fears or past experiences, therapy can help. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through it.

A skilled therapist can support you in:

Regulating your nervous system
Identifying and shifting anxiety patterns
Exploring what your anxiety is trying to protect
Building emotional flexibility and a more supportive relationship with your thoughts

Therapeutic Approaches That Can Help:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps you identify and challenge thought patterns that fuel anxiety—like catastrophizing or taking on unrealistic responsibility. It's especially helpful for breaking the thought-symptom-sleeplessness loop that keeps you up at night.
Experiential Psychodynamic Therapy
This approach helps you get underneath the anxiety—uncovering the emotional themes (like shame, helplessness, or fear of disapproval) that may be fueling it. By gently processing those feelings, the nighttime pressure can ease.
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS helps you relate to the different “parts” of yourself—like the anxious protector, the overachiever, or the perfectionist—with curiosity rather than conflict. This can reduce internal pressure and restore balance.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
EMDR can help if your nighttime anxiety is linked to past trauma or emotionally charged memories. It supports the brain in reprocessing those experiences so they don’t keep showing up uninvited at bedtime.

Final Thoughts

You’re not broken because your brain won’t shut off at night. You’re human. And your system is trying to keep you safe—even if the timing is inconvenient.

There are gentle ways to work with that over-activation. Rest doesn’t have to be forced—it can be something you build gradually, by helping your system feel safe enough to let go.

Learn more about how anxiety therapy can help.